Thursday, March 15, 2007
doubts..
after what i found out i texted her about it and i was mad.. i was hurt.. i felt cheated, i felt so stupid.. i felt so little.. we talk about it, she explained everything .. admitted her fault.. she said she didnt notice how they ended up looking so sweet in the picture because it was a group picture.. i dont know how i was able to accept that reason but i did... i almost gave up on her but she doesnt want to.. she said she's sorry.. promised to never do it again.. i wasnt sure about giving her another chance all i wanted at that point is to have space and time to think about it.. but she said NO.. and that she'll make up for it.. i love her and i cant escape that feeling no matter how hard i try so I gave her another chance and just accepted her explanation even if I wasnt 100% satisfied with her reasons of not telling me.. we moved on.. for a couple of weeks she showed extra time.. extra sweetness.. extra everything.. then everything's back to normal.. arguements once in a while, petty fights.. but we're ok. december came she said she have some work to do in tagaytay for the weekend.. and for the exact same reason i had last october i checked her friendster again while she's in tagaytay.. and bingo! another picture... another set of pictures taken in a booth at glorietta.. my girl, her close friend and the exact same guy we fought a couple of months ago.. some wacky photos.. wacky and sweet photos.. hehe. that time the guy's hands were no longer on my girl's lap.. it was her turn i guess.. =) her arms wrapped around the guy's waist.. with the other friend doing some wacky pose on the other side.. arrrghh.. f__ck! that was straight to my heart.. i had to wait for the next day to confront her.. and boom.. as expected we had a big fight.. i remember she said that i was hurt not because i love her but because she crashed my ego.. i cant believe she said that.. but after a long fight after a near break up.. again.. i gave her another chance and accepted her explanation... i love her... fck love... as of the moment i feel strange.. i dont why but i feel like she's hiding something.. she cant give her friendster account... and her reason? she doesnt have her password.. she saved her password on her officemate's pc and everytime she logs in she just do the copy paste thing so as to protect her account form hackers.. or from me? the only thing i do now is to use my friend's account to check my gf's account how fcking stupid can that be.. strange... really strange.. right now i even have doubts on that tagaytay event she had.. recently i saw some pictures of her officemates taken in tagaytay.. group pictures and she's nowhere to be found.. i cant find any proof.. i dont know how to ask her about it because i asked her many times and she swear to God she was there.... fck love.. fck doubts... fck me...
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